3 masturbation games to explore your sensations without aiming for performance

Masturbation can be a quick moment, but the video suggests looking at it differently: as a space for play and exploration. The goal is not to achieve a performance or impose an outcome on yourself. Rather, it is about taking the time to observe your sensations and test what changes depending on pace, breathing or level of stimulation.

The three games presented are aimed at both men and women, with some nuances depending on the bodily responses discussed in the video. The common thread remains the same: do not go straight to the goal, stay curious and keep a light-hearted approach.

1. Delaying orgasm to change your sensations

The first game involves not seeking orgasm as soon as arousal builds. The video particularly addresses people who reach orgasm easily but then feel that the moment was very brief or not especially memorable. Rather than stopping immediately, the idea is to prolong arousal and see what it changes.

To explore this point further, our article on Fantasies Considered “Weird”: How to Talk About Them Without Shame With Your Partner provides useful context and a broader perspective.

To expand on this reflection, our analysis on Candaulism: how to talk about it and set boundaries without weakening your relationship provides additional insight and places this point in a broader perspective.

This approach begins with respecting your own pace. The video points out that some people may feel pressure to orgasm quickly, whether alone or with a partner. Slowing down makes it possible not to reduce pleasure to a rushed finish.

Breathe, shift your attention and adjust your pelvic floor

Three tools are suggested for delaying orgasm. The first is breathing: when pleasure intensifies, you are advised to slow your breath. According to the approach developed in the video, this helps prevent all your attention from remaining focused on genital sensations.

The second tool concerns attention. If an image, thought or situation strongly increases arousal, the video suggests temporarily shifting your mind to something else in order to moderate the build-up.

The third tool is the pelvic floor. The author distinguishes between the approaches discussed for men and women: for men, she mentions contracting the pelvic floor to try to delay ejaculation; for women, she instead recommends relaxing it when they want to avoid speeding up toward a first orgasm. In her approach, the aim is to test contraction, relaxation and breathing to identify what matches your own sensations.

The video also suggests turning it into a gradual challenge by giving yourself more time from one session to the next. It is not an obligation to last a certain amount of time: it is a game for observing how arousal develops without rushing.

This idea connects with the themes addressed in work on the pelvic floor, breathing and performance pressure. In both cases, attention is brought back to sensations rather than to a duration to reach or a result to prove.

2. Exploring the possibility of a second orgasm

The second game begins where the first may end: if orgasm has occurred, the session does not have to be considered automatically over. The video invites you to explore the possibility of a second orgasm, or even several, without making it a norm.

Along the same lines, Foreplay: Creating Slower, More Connected and Shared Intimacy offers additional insights for understanding the subject.

This idea can also be considered alongside Do you need money to be a man of value? A reflection on financial pressure and relationships, which details useful mechanisms for better understanding this situation.

For men, the author notes that this may be more difficult and depend on many factors, including age in her view. She suggests asking what might make it possible to start again: new stimulation, a change in mindset or, on the contrary, a recovery period.

For women, the video mentions two options: remaining in a form of tension by contracting the pelvic floor, or slowing down after a first orgasm before resuming exploration. The idea is therefore not necessarily to continue without a break. It may also mean staying at a level of arousal, letting some time pass and seeing whether a new cycle of pleasure emerges.

Above all, the author encourages varying your attempts according to your desires: more or less stimulation, clitoral stimulation, penetration or not, anal stimulation or not. Nothing is presented as universal. The game consists of listening to your body’s reactions and discovering possibilities you may not have suspected.

Distinguishing between the different stages of pleasure can also help move beyond an overly automatic view of sexuality. The article on the differences between ejaculation and orgasm extends this reflection by reminding readers that these two experiences do not necessarily mean the same thing.

3. Turning masturbation into a more mindful ritual

The third game is presented as a form of tantric masturbation. The video takes care to clarify what it means by this: not an necessarily complex setup, but slowing down, concentrating more and feeling more connected to your sensations and emotions.

This analysis can also be compared with Candaulism: how to talk about it and set boundaries without weakening your relationship, which examines this issue in greater detail.

From this perspective, masturbation is not limited to quick stimulation followed by orgasm or ejaculation. It can become a prepared moment that you ease into gradually. For example, the author suggests taking a bath, applying a pleasant cream or fragrance, choosing comfortable clothes that you like, adding music or candles. Each person can adapt the atmosphere to what resonates with them.

The setting is not the goal in itself. It helps ritualize the moment and avoid a rushed approach. The video advises taking the time to caress the whole body, create an atmosphere and stimulate yourself intellectually or emotionally as well, rather than immediately focusing on just one area of the body.

This approach emphasizes connection with yourself. It invites you to ask: what do I want right now? Do I need to slow down, change pace, breathe, take a break or continue? Here again, the result matters less than the attention paid to the moment.

This desire not to reduce intimacy to an end goal echoes the guidance on pace, sensuality and shared pleasure. While that article concerns intimacy with a partner, the principle of taking your time and observing reactions can also inform solo exploration.

Playing without turning pleasure into a test

The video emphasizes this point several times: these games should not become a competition. Delaying orgasm, trying to have several orgasms or ritualizing a session is not a program to succeed at. An attempt may not produce the expected effect, and that is part of the exploration being suggested.

This analysis can also be compared with Being the Second Choice in Your Relationship: Understanding This Relationship Fear, which examines this issue in greater detail.

The word “game” is central because it leaves room for trial and error, as well as changing your mind. Depending on the day, you may prefer brief masturbation, a slower session, different stimulation or no pursuit of orgasm at all. The approach described is less about applying a method than about better identifying what suits your body and your desire in the moment.

FAQ

Do you absolutely need to delay your orgasm?

No. In the video, delaying orgasm is presented as a game for exploring sensations, not as an obligation. The idea is to test whether it works for you, without making duration a measure of success.

To explore this point further, our article on Mistakes in Bed to Avoid: Sensuality, Pace and Listening to Shared Pleasure provides useful context and a broader perspective.

Is the goal to have multiple orgasms?

No. The second game invites you to explore this possibility after a first orgasm, but the video makes clear that performance is not the goal. It is about discovering your reactions and preferences.

What does tantric masturbation mean in the video?

It is described as masturbation that is slower, more focused and more connected to yourself. It may involve an atmosphere, preparation time, caresses over the whole body and attention that is less focused on immediate orgasm.