The Rise of Dating Coaches: A Cure Worse Than the Disease?
Are Dating Coaches Responsible for the Growing Epidemic of Singles?
The Flourishing Online Dating Industry
In 2023, dating advice is everywhere, especially on platforms like YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram. Millions of people turn to these platforms to learn how to seduce, charm, or maintain a relationship. Dating coaches like Alexandre Cormon have amassed millions of followers, offering strategies to win the heart of a loved one. However, despite this flood of advice, statistics reveal a concerning rise in breakups. Between 2006 and 2021, separations increased by 63%, with 45% of marriages ending in divorce.
Counterproductive Dating Advice
These coaches often promote strategies based on emotional manipulation. Techniques like the “48-hour rule,” which advises delaying responses to messages to spark interest, or the practice of “ghosting,” are now commonplace. Such advice encourages detachment and control, turning dating into a power game. But this “game” has negative consequences: instead of bringing people closer, it creates misunderstandings, frustration, and ultimately drives partners apart. Relationships become superficial, built on unrealistic expectations.
The Epidemic of Singles: A Direct Consequence?
With the rise of manipulation-based dating techniques, there’s been a noticeable “epidemic of singles.” Sociologists observe not only an increase in separations but also a growing trend of independence within relationships. This independence, highly valued in today’s society, often leads to emotional distance between partners. However, humans need emotional closeness to thrive in relationships. This forced independence can therefore lead to emotional insecurity and increased dependency, further fueling the singles epidemic.
The Quest for Perfection: Another Social Media Trap
Social media, particularly TikTok, also promotes ideals of perfect romantic relationships. Videos showcasing women being treated like princesses by their partners set unrealistic expectations. These expectations place enormous pressure on men, forcing them to constantly go above and beyond to prove their love. Meanwhile, women may feel disappointed when they don’t experience such gestures, thinking they’re not “special enough” to deserve them. Rather than encouraging healthy communication and realistic expectations, these trends foster disappointment and dissatisfaction.
The Dangers of Manipulation in Love
Ultimately, manipulating and controlling feelings in a relationship is counterproductive. Dating coaches often encourage followers to hide their true personalities to attract others, but this strategy can backfire. The masks eventually fall, and relationships built on false personas rarely last. To build a lasting and healthy relationship, it’s essential to stay authentic and communicate your needs and expectations clearly.
Towards a New Approach to Romantic Relationships
It’s time to rethink how we approach romantic relationships. Instead of trying to manipulate or control others, we must value authenticity and communication. This means accepting our natural need for closeness and seeking partners who share our values and aspirations. Focusing on relationships based on mutual respect, understanding, and honesty could be the key to countering this singles epidemic and building stronger, more fulfilling relationships.
